So I said I would write a bit about this today so I suppose I will.
There's a necessary optimism in the act of being an artist (or any other creative thing, really). Somehow I have to believe that I can visualize a thing mentally, translate it through my hand, and then you will have an understanding on some level of what I was trying to say.
It's a hopeless optimism since what I draw rarely looks exactly as I pictured it, meaning the whole system is flawed right at the first step, I can't ever make it so you see what I see.
Where all this pretension is going is I see this particular scene a certain way. I see it in motion as if it were animated, and I simply do not have the skills to translate it. And that has been frustrating me. I have to approximate. I have to cut down to what I can show in a still image. It's never going to look how I want because I want something I can't do.
And that was a hard truth, really. Realizing that's why I was unhappy and stalling was difficult. Yes I know it sucks that it makes updates irregular. I think it's also made a liar out of me (I'm updating this week!.....not pfffft). I have the benefit of not being on a arbitrary cliffhanger - I know how it ends - but that doesn't mean I don't hate the irregularity too.
Because of that damned optimism. I have a thing I think is cool and I want to show you the cool thing too.
You all have been pretty amazing about it, I just want to say. Even the people who feel impatient have been nice about it. Oh my god it is so easy to be nasty on the internet, thank you for being nice while gently prodding me to go faster, lol
Some of you have been super
cool and contributed in your own ways, with bits of fanart directly or indirectly - and it is really super awesome to see people using my version of Tanya's hair over the canon. I've even seen my version of Drake DuCaine pop up in places! It's so tiny but it makes me smile because it means people liked it! zomg.
As I chip away at these things that I've pictured, in some cases for 10+ years, they're laid to rest in their own way. It's very loud in my head, which I suppose is cliche but I'm not sure what else to say. When I drift to sleep I'm thinking about dialog. Every single night. But it's new dialog now, not the dialog that was going around five years ago. Even if I didn't them perfect, they're quiet. Quiet enough other pieces have spoken up that will come into play later on.
It's a relief to finally not be going in circles, in some places, at least.
Anyway now you know why I usually write something cheap and flippant instead of thoughtful. I admit while I was writing this I was making edits to the panels pfffft.
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